| President Bush has a new target, in an
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| | relax a little at my Texas ranch, and
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| old war. Today at a press conference,
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| | I'll think real hard on the matter. I'm
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| Bush vowed to capture or kill E. Coli,
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| | sure that after I'm done thinking -- just
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| and all of his terrorist allies. The
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| | like my last vacation I stopped thinking
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| transcript is as follows:George Bush: "My
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| | when it was over -- I'll have proof that
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| fellow Americans, yesterday the world has
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| | E. Coli was able to illegally acquire
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| changed again, and we must again change
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| | anthrax, most likely from a Democrat in
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| our thinking. We've been attacked, not by
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| | the Senate or House of
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| planes, but by a wholesome vegetable,
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| | Representatives."CNN Reporter: "Mr.
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| grown right here on American soil. We
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| | President, are you saying that an elected
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| must now be ever vigilant when buying
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| | official in Washington might have
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| spinach. Our enemies want us to eat
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| | provided anthrax to a terrorist
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| spinach, and spinach is now the Islamic
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| | organization?"George Bush: "That's what I
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| fascist weapon of choice against
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| | said, isn't it? Gee, you must be hard of
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| everything good and American."Up until
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| | hearing. My friend at the National
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| now, our government, meaning myself and
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| | Security Agency, and my other friend from
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| my fellow Republicans, have been able to
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| | the FBI have been able to magically
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| prevent a second terrorist attack since 9
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| | conjure up proof that Democrats are
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| 11. We just had no idea they'd be
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| | aiding and giving comfort to the enemy.
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| creative enough to use spinach as an
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| | From that proof, we're certain that every
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| instrument for their message of terror.
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| | Democrat in this country eats steak, and
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| For that, I'm truly sorry."Our
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| | Republicans have a balanced diet,
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| intelligence network already has the name
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| | including spinach and other vegetables.
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| of the head terrorist. His name is E.
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| | As for how we obtained the proof, filling
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| Coli, and we're working hard, working
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| | out all the the paperwork takes a lot of
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| very hard to figure out his first name.
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| | time, so we don't really have any good
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| We've already killed his
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| | records. Except for John Denver, heheh.
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| second-in-command, Popeye. While many
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| | That was a joke. I like his music, but I
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| children may be upset about Popeye's
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| | think he cared a little too much about
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| death, we know that with Popeye dead, the
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| | trees, and not enough about keeping
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| world will be a little bit
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| | America safe."FOX Reporter: "Mr.
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| safer."Speaking of safe, the world is
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| | President, do you and Republicans already
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| already safer. Since I took office, other
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| | have a strategy planned to capture or
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| countries have used the opportunity to
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| | kill E. Coli, or any of his
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| build up their nuclear arsenal. They'll
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| | followers?"George Bush: "Oh yeah. And the
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| now be able to defend themselves better
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| | strategy is working so well, we already
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| than they could have in a pre-9/11 world.
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| | had E. Coli in our sights, and he was
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| When more countries have nuclear weapons,
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| | almost captured. I regret that E. Coli
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| the world will be even safer, thanks to
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| | escaped into a group of clowns at a
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| me and my fellow Republicans."We're
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| | circus. But I promise every American
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| taking other measures to prevent
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| | who's loyal to me, we will get justice
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| terrorist attacks. My friend at the CIA
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| | and revenge. My personal savior and
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| is almost certain that E. Coli has used
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| | friend, Jesus Christ, assured me just a
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| anthrax to poison the spinach. I'll be
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| | few days ago that the best way to assure
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| working real hard to link the two
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| | evildoing is done away with is to kill
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| together in my third term. My second term
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| | evildoers. Jesus told me that revenge was
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| must still be spent linking Iraq to 9/11.
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| | the best way to keep America safe and to
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| I might be able to work on it on my next
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| | make sure evil from the world is
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| vacation. Next week, I'll be able to
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| | eliminated.
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