| "A new baby is like the beginning of all things--wonder, | | | | Do not pollute your new life with your spouse and |
| hope, a dream of possibilities." (Eda J. Le Shan) | | | | children by bringing in old pain and luggage from the |
| The Transition to Parenthood | | | | past. Instead promote healing and closure for your |
| Becoming a parent is a major lifestyle change that can | | | | new life ahead of you. |
| be very rewarding yet very stressful. Consider the | | | | Parents, no deposit, no return |
| following advice on how to make this step more easily | | | | It is important to work on your emotional I.Q. You need |
| in your new job as a parent. | | | | to make an investment in yourself. You are like a tank |
| Parenthood is a step into a new lifestyle | | | | of gas in your car. If all you do is drain your tank of |
| It is important to be aware that you will be challenged | | | | gasoline (or in other words your energy source) you |
| to make changes in your life of being single and may | | | | will run out of gas and end up emotionally bankrupt. |
| be resistant to those changes. Welcome and embrace | | | | Taking care of yourself, is taking care of others. By |
| the change as a challenge to your new life as a | | | | investing in yourself you will have more to give your |
| parent. | | | | children. |
| Parents need to recognize the importance of a | | | | Parents, make time for your spouse |
| mother and a father in a child's life | | | | Nurture your relationship with each other. It is important |
| Even though mothers usually tend to be the primary | | | | that you have an occasional night out alone together. If |
| parent in the child's life, fathers have a very important | | | | you cultivate your relationship with your spouse, you |
| role in the life and identity of the child. A study on | | | | are giving a wonderful gift to your children. |
| parent-infant attachment found that fathers who were | | | | Parents, remember children replicate what they see |
| affectionate, spent time with their children, and overall | | | | If kids are exposed to tension, strife, confusing, fighting |
| had a positive attitude were more likely to have | | | | or anger they will replicate the behavior as well as |
| securely attached infants. (Cox, 1992) | | | | internalize it. Kids echo was they are subject to, |
| In a 26 year longitudinal study on 379 individuals, | | | | whether positive or negative. |
| researchers found that the single most important | | | | Putting it all together |
| childhood factor in developing empathy is paternal | | | | Look forward to a new life of hope, challenges, love, |
| involvement. Fathers who spent time alone with their | | | | nurturing, interaction and change. You will be truly |
| kids performing routine childcare at least two times a | | | | amazed at what your growth, learning and |
| week, raised children who were the most | | | | enlightenment as a new parent! |
| compassionate adults. (Koestner, 1990) | | | | "We never know the love of a parent till we become |
| A new Cincinnati Children's Hospital Medical Center | | | | parents ourselves." (Henry Ward Beecher) |
| study points to the important role fathers play in their | | | | References |
| children's emotional and behavioral health. The study | | | | Cox, M.J. et al. "Prediction of Infant-Father and |
| shows that a father in good mental health can | | | | Infant-Mother Attachment." Developmental Psychology |
| substantially reduce the negative influence of a | | | | 28 (1992): 474-483. |
| mother's poor mental health on a child's behavioral and | | | | Khan, R., Brandt, D., & Whitaker, R. (2004, August 8). |
| emotional well-being. "If a mother and father are | | | | Combined Effect of Mothers' and Fathers' Mental |
| depressed, the odds that a child will have behavioral or | | | | Health Symptoms on Children's Behavioral and |
| emotional problems go up eight-fold," according to | | | | Emotional Well-being. ARCHIVES OF PEDIATRICS & |
| Robert S. Kahn, MD, MPH, a physician / researcher in | | | | ADOLESCENT MEDICINE, 158(8), 1. |
| the Division of General and Community Pediatrics at | | | | Koestner, Richard, Carol Franz, and Joel Weinberger. |
| Cincinnati Children's and the study's lead author. (Khan, | | | | "The Family Origins of Empathic Concern: A |
| Brandt, & Whitaker, 2004) | | | | Twenty-Six Year Longitudinal study." Journal of |
| In another study According to a Gallup Poll, 90.3 | | | | Personality and Social Psychology 58 (1990): 709-717. |
| percent of Americans agree that "fathers make a | | | | Gallup Poll, 1996. National Center for Fathering. "Father |
| unique contribution to their children's lives." (Gallup, 1996) | | | | Figures." Today's Father 4.1 (1996):8. |
| Parents, leave your old baggage! | | | | |