Passion or Purpose?

I hate moderation. I hate doing things moderately. I hatechoices, "I don't think so."Part of the wonder of new
having to be controlled, mature, and disciplined. I don'tromances is doing things "over the top;" being
want to moderate how much I eat or drink. I don'tinfatuated and going with it through cards and flowers
want to be moderate with sex, or playing, or vacations.and three hour phone calls and getting into work late
I don't want to moderate what I say for fear it willand tired. Real passion for something makes other
offend. I don't want to do what's "good for me."I DOthings seem like white noise and static. Passion almost
want to have a second piece of pie because it tastesdemands that other stuff be put aside so you can be
good. Sometimes, I do want to have hot sweaty sexexcessive. For a year, I wrote most of my first book
at night and again in the morning because it tastesStepping Stones, between the hours of 9:00 p.m. and
good. I want to run to the roller coaster at Disneyland2:00 a.m. and on weekends feeling possessed with a
with the rest of the nine-year-old boys. But I can't.Thesense of needful urgency to write. I'm ashamed to
pie is bad for my weight and cholesterol. The morningadmit that it was great even though I didn't spend as
sex will disturb my exhausted, sleeping wife andmuch time with my family.As I look back, I think the
negatively affect my marital relational love. The othertimes I've been happiest in my life, I have been
parents at Disneyland will think I'm weird.We all knowobsessed and passionate about something: school, a
what moderation, control, and discipline really means. Itwoman, building my career, exercise; the occasionally
means, "I don't get to have what I want. I get to watchsublime nexus moment I talk about in Steppingstones.
other people have what I want; and seem to getAt these times, I am almost never moderate. I don't
away with it. I get to convince myself that rawalways feel out of control; but I am definitely excessive
vegetables taste as good as a Krispy Kreme. I don'twith my priority, big time; making everything else
just delay my gratification, I simply don't 'get nonumber two; figuratively of course.Are passion and
satisfaction.'"I know I need to be somewhat moderate,purpose something you have to balance? Or does
disciplined, and controlled to live life effectively and forbeing passionate help you with your purpose and vice
a long time--both of which I want. But what about theversa? If you try to balance hedonistic passion and
juice of life--passion? I love being passionate. Doesmature, effective living, are you cheating yourself out
passion have room for discipline and moderation orof both? Can you hurl yourself into the moment and
does it eat them? Does sensual, hedonistic, gloriousbe moderate?I need to go now. My spinach salad and
pleasure have to wear the belt of moderation? Todiet 7-UP are getting warm.
quote McCauley Culkin, the font of wisdom and good