| --> | | | | knowing what they're talking about. They respond by |
| I had an interesting experience last week...if you have | | | | saying things like "What's the point here?", "Where is |
| spoken to me in the past few weeks, you'll know that | | | | this conversation going?" and "What's the bottom line?" |
| I've sounded like I've had a permanent case of | | | | Men then proceed to talk to a woman as if she is a |
| laryngitis. What I actually had was a cyst on my throat. | | | | mental patient or will cut her off by saying "We've |
| It's like a big blister and the only way to get rid of it | | | | been over this a dozen times", "How much longer will |
| was to cut it out. So if I wanted to speak clearly again, | | | | this take?" and "This conversation is too much hard |
| I had no choice than to go ahead and have | | | | work and isn't going anywhere!" |
| microsurgery. Notice I said micro, sounds much better | | | | Indirect Talk In Business |
| than surgery or operation. | | | | When a woman uses indirect speech in business, it |
| In fact, the whole process was (thank goodness) | | | | can prove problematic because men may have |
| totally painless, even afterwards. All I had to do was | | | | difficulty following a multi-tracked, indirect conversation. |
| rest my voice and not speak for 48 hours! I'll also be | | | | Men need to be presented with clear, logical, organised |
| undertaking voice lessons to ensure I protect this | | | | ideas and information before they will make a decision. |
| valuable instrument. | | | | A woman can have her ideas and requests rejected |
| Now to the men reading this, avoiding opening your | | | | purely because her male boss didn't have a clue what |
| mouth for that period of time would probably not | | | | she really wanted. |
| bother you. However, for a female it is a very hard | | | | Too Much Talking Can Waste Time And Money |
| thing to do. We like to talk in case you hadn't noticed. | | | | I met with an accountant last year who had a chronic |
| According to research, women speak around 30,000 | | | | case of verbal diarrhoea. From the moment we met |
| (that's right guys) words a day and men (if you're | | | | until I left, she wouldn't stop talking. It was very difficult |
| lucky) speak around 10,000. So that's a ratio of 3:1. | | | | trying to get a word in. This was not a good way to |
| Interesting, isn't it? So how does this work in daily life? | | | | establish rapport. No doubt she would have lost many |
| She Says - "He just doesn't listen" | | | | business opportunities because of her talkative nature. |
| He Says: "She talks too much" | | | | Something she was also oblivious to was the |
| In their best-selling books "Why Men Don't Listen and | | | | personality differences. When you look at the different |
| Women Can't Read Maps" and "Why Men, Lie and | | | | personality styles, I'm the impatient type who wants to |
| Women Cry", Barbara and Alan Pease say: | | | | get to the point. This lady was trying to build a |
| Women Talk, Talk and Talk | | | | relationship with me and unknown to her, was doing |
| When a woman talks she often uses indirect speech. | | | | the exact opposite...driving me away. |
| This means she hints at what she wants or infers | | | | Through coaching I've learned to listen, however this |
| things. | | | | woman was a shocker. I was so tired when I left...her |
| Women's indirect speech has a purpose - it builds | | | | talking wore me down. There was no way I'd ever |
| relationships and rapport with others by avoiding | | | | want to see or speak to her again. Can you imagine |
| aggression, confrontation or discord. | | | | what it would be like to be a client of hers?. Every |
| When women use indirect speech with other women | | | | time you'd ring her with a query, she'd take 10 times |
| there is seldom a problem - women are sensitive to | | | | longer than necessary to answer it and you'd be |
| picking up the real meaning. It can, however be | | | | paying for the privilege! I bet she'd be the most |
| disastrous when used on men. | | | | unproductive person in her business and also waste |
| Men Take Words Literally | | | | her own staff's time because of her incessant talking. |
| Men use direct speech and take words literally. They | | | | The Final Word |
| find women's lack of conversational structure and | | | | Today we've focussed on the talking factor between |
| purpose very disconcerting, and accuse women of not | | | | men and women. |