Surviving Murder - Catastrophic Deaths Will Change Your Life Forever

Murder is always senseless, reckless and leaves theuntil the legal processes are finished, at least the trial
survivors with many unanswered questions and full ofand sentencing. Most victims and families stay stuck in
rage, confusion and emotional pain. Because murder isthe anger stage until these legal issues are completed.
such a shock, there is no time to prepare or begin theSupport in dealing with the pain and suffering after a
process of grieving ahead of time. Shock and disbeliefmurder is tenuous and tentative. Most friends and
are the protective psychological shields that wraprelatives don't know how to respond. They may worry
around the survivors fragile emotions for the firstabout prying, or triggering pain, so often they just
several months.withdraw. Being left alone may be what some
The Virginia Tech faculty and students, Columbinesurvivors prefer, but others may prefer to talk about
massacre, the three faculty members shot on thewhat happened. You need to let people know your
University of Arizona nursing school and the Federalpreferences. Someone who has not experienced this
Building blow up in Oklahoma City are all recentkind of loss will not be able to relate to the profound
examples of the flaws in the mental health systememotions you are experiencing.
and services available in the United States today.Victims of murder have special support groups
These mass murders illustrate the lack of recognitionbecause this death they experience is very different
and awareness of severe problems brewing beneaththan other types of deaths. Only others who have had
the surface of the perpetrator for years before theya similar loss can even begin to fathom what you are
commit these horrific acts. How did we fail them?going through. Many towns in the US have such
What a terrible price we as a society paid for lookingsupport groups. To find one, call National Victim's Rights
the other way. Isn't it time to do things differently?Assistance (NOVA).
My great aunt and her husband, both in their seventies,The Trauma of Victimization
were brutally murdered by a neighbor who was drunkVictims, if they survive, and relatives of victims are
and went to their home at 3:30 in the morningboth traumatized by a criminal act. The shock leaves
demanding money to buy more liquor. When theythem in a state of psychological disruption and
recognized him and saw that he was already drunk,disorganization, unable to think clearly or to make
they refused to give him money. He forced himself intodecisions. They will feel overwhelmed and devastated
the kitchen and, using a knife, stabbed both of theseby the shock of the action and the emotional pain
elderly people to death.caused by the crime for a long, long time.
The couple left three adult children and fiveThey can't understand why anyone would want to
grandchildren behind. They were all in shock andhurt them or someone they love. It is senseless. Their
couldn't believe what had happened. So many liveslives may be shattered in a variety of ways. There
were affected by the stupidity and violence of hismay be financial loss and physical injury involved.
alcoholic attack. My cousins, the murderer's wife andSurvivors often suffer post-traumatic stress disorder;
children, and all the extended families suffered. It tookfor this reason, seeking counseling is a good thing to
three years to get through the legal system, and thedo.
murderer is now on death row, still fighting withFrequently, family members are suspected by law
appeals. The murders occurred in California, whereenforcement officials, and may be doubly victimized if
they have a death penalty, but it could be severalthey are not guilty, as in the Jan Benet Ramsey case
more years before he is actually executed for hisin Colorado in 1996. This family was tormented by the
crimes.Boulder, Colorado Police Department and by the
When a murderer is caught and taken into custody, itmedia, which forced them to get their own attorney
is easier to focus the emotional reaction on the culprit.and finally to move to another city. In high profile cases
If the attacker isn't caught, then emotions are morethe media make every detail of the crime public, which
fragmented and may be focused on law enforcement,often results in a violation of the privacy of the
believing they are not doing enough to find thesurvivors - their mourning and the shock of their
perpetrator. Other times, the culprit is caught but isn'ttraumatic loss have not been respected.
found guilty of the crime. Consider the O.J. SimpsonVictim rights groups believe that education of the public
case: most people believe he was guilty but got offabout how the criminal justice system works is critical.
because he could afford high priced and high profileThey believe that the scales of justice have gradually
attorneys. In his case, justice may not have been done.become weighted in favor of the criminal, not the
Murder is often an impulsive act of passion done byvictim, or the family of the victim. If the victim is dead,
someone the victim knows or is related to. Frequently,he or she has no rights or legal standing. Whereas a
murders are related to drug deals gone sour orperpetrator who is arrested may get out on bail, have
organized crime retributions. However, sometimeshis trial delayed for over a year, and may go through
murder is a random act of senseless killing, as in theseveral years of costly appeals before his final
Lee Boyd Malvo and John Muhammad shootings ofpunishment is carried out. If the perpetrator kills himself
people all over the U.S. They were clearly mentally ill,or herself the victims may feel cheated of any judicial
and the older father figure unduly influenced theclosure.
adolescent Lee Boyd.Justice will only be served when those who are not
In the case of any murder, healing cannot really begininjured by crime feel as indignant as those who are.