| A sudden and traumatic death shatters your world. | | | | traumatic loss. |
| The changes may be readily apparent or may take | | | | And the US Department of Health and Human |
| months, or even years, to emerge. In 2007 my elder | | | | Services describes the impact of traumatic loss in |
| daughter (mother of my twin grandchildren) and | | | | "Tips for Survivors of a Traumatic Event: Managing |
| father-in-law died on the same weekend. I was in such | | | | Your Stress." The article lists 11 signs of stress, |
| shock I could hardly think. Yet there were burial | | | | including excessive worry. Stress affects your body in |
| arrangements to make and memorial services to plan. | | | | many ways and you may have stomach aches, |
| I knew I had to do my grief work and did not shirk it. | | | | diarrhea, headaches, changes in appetite, and sweats |
| This work paid off and I was starting to feel better | | | | or chills. You may feel anxious all the time, or guilty, or |
| when my brother died eight weeks later. Several | | | | depressed, or overwhelmed. |
| months later the twin's father studied in another car | | | | How can you cope with the stress of sudden and |
| crash. The fourth death in the family shook my sense | | | | traumatic loss? |
| of safety. What would happen next? | | | | 1. Eat a healthy, balanced died. |
| According to the Journey of Hearts website, "The | | | | 2. Avoid excessive caffeine or alcohol. |
| grief response following sudden loss is often intensified | | | | 3. Try to get enough sleep. |
| since there is little to no opportunity to prepare for the | | | | 4. Get regular exercise. (I walk at a local mall.) |
| loss, say good-bye, finish unfinished business or | | | | 5. Share your feelings with people you trust. |
| prepare for bereavement." The survivor -- you and me | | | | 6. Learn about Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) |
| -- has a sense of vulnerability, the website continues, | | | | and watch for symptoms of it. |
| because our safe world "no longer exists." | | | | 7. Call "time out" and have some fun. |
| Some days I wondered if I would survive. I did not | | | | 8. Renew your spirit by meditating, praying, or helping |
| have time to dwell on my worries, however, because I | | | | others. |
| was raising my grandchildren. Thankfully, I have good | | | | These tips helped me and I added one more -- writing |
| coping skills. Though my grandchildren are brilliant and | | | | about my multiple losses. Writing has helped me the |
| have some coping skills, tragedy hit at a vulnerable | | | | most. I also think we also need to keep telling |
| time of life. My granddaughter worries about being | | | | ourselves we are normal. As the US Department of |
| alone in the house, an understandable feeling after a | | | | Health and Human Services explains, "Know that |
| house up the street was just robbed. | | | | feeling stressed, depressed, guilty, or angry is common |
| The US National Mental Health Information Center, in a | | | | after a traumatic event." Our sense of safety is |
| website article, "Care Tips for Survivors of a | | | | altered, but we still have the same strengths and |
| Traumatic Event," says a fear of crowds, strangers | | | | talents, and can use them to help ourselves. |
| and being alone is a natural response to sudden and | | | | |