| How many times have you stood at the entrance to a | | | | moment to stand at the entrance and survey the |
| networking mixer frozen in fear? "A root canal would | | | | room (As though you are looking for someone...). Be |
| be easier than this," you say to yourself. Having to | | | | aware of your body language; don't slump or try to |
| make small talk with strangers, trying to be interesting | | | | disappear into the woodwork, but enter with authority. |
| and charming, is not your strength nor your idea of a | | | | Pretend you are the king or queen making your grand |
| good time. But you believe that if you can just endure | | | | entrance, and your body language will say that you are |
| this for an hour, you might walk away with some | | | | confident and approachable.o As you enter, get the lay |
| valuable new contacts. The reality is that your | | | | of the land and look specifically for three things: (a) the |
| discomfort often has negative results, and you don't | | | | buffet, (b) the bar, and/or (c) someone sitting or |
| gain the new relationships you had sought. | | | | standing alone. Choose one of these as your target, |
| In the 1930s, Swiss psychologist Carl Jung coined the | | | | so that when you make your journey across the |
| term introvert as someone who tends to find his | | | | room, you have a goal and are not awkwardly |
| psychological energy within... in the world of thought, | | | | meandering around. |
| contemplation and reflection. This inward focus can | | | | (a) The buffet line is always a good place to meet |
| result in a tendency to pull back and maintain a safe | | | | people. Make a mental note of anything interesting and |
| distance, especially around new people. | | | | just "think out loud" to the person next to you. |
| In the world of networking, introverts can face a long | | | | "Incredible ice sculpture," you could comment. Or, |
| list of daunting challenges - not the least of which is | | | | "Wow, I didn't know shrimp came in this size!" She will |
| sending nonverbal messages that may be | | | | have to respond in some way, and you can follow |
| misinterpreted as aloofness. And "aloof" is not a good | | | | with, "Is this your first _____ event?" The |
| message when your purpose is to mix, mingle, and | | | | conversation will easily flow from there. |
| foster new relationships. | | | | (b) Same thing at the bar -- While waiting in line, strike |
| As a card-carrying introvert myself (by Jung's | | | | up a conversation, "Wow... this already looks like a |
| definition), I've developed some guidelines that have | | | | great event; I didn't expect so many people. Have you |
| always worked well and have allowed me to be | | | | been here before?" |
| confident and outgoing at networking events. Practice | | | | (c) Once you have your food or drink in hand (Only |
| these, and you will soon become the "master of the | | | | occupy one hand; keep one free for shaking),approach |
| mixer": | | | | the person sitting alone, and say with a smile, "Mind if I |
| 1. Create a plan before each event: "Winging it" never | | | | join you?" |
| works for introverts, because spontaneity is not usually | | | | 3. Ask questions, listen carefully, and don't worry about |
| a strength. So having a plan can greatly boost | | | | selling yourself: The most charming and fascinating |
| confidence.o Do some pre-work before the event. | | | | people are the greatest listeners. Listening also gives |
| Think about who will be there and who you would like | | | | you an advantage in uncovering potential customers or |
| to meet.o Make a list of goals before you leave the | | | | job prospects.o Ask the person about her business; |
| house - how many new contacts do you want to | | | | about hobbies, family, city of origin, etc. It's very |
| make tonight? How will you approach them? Prepare | | | | probable that somewhere in that conversation you will |
| for "small talk" by reviewing current events in your | | | | uncover a need, and you will be able to help her find |
| head; take a mental assessment of recent books | | | | an answer or resource.o Armed with information, you |
| you've read, movies you've seen, or interesting stories | | | | can say, "Oh! So your brother is looking for a home in |
| you've heard -- always good conversation starters | | | | the area? I know a great (realtor, landscaper, |
| and fillers for awkward moments. | | | | plumber)."o By giving before asking, you encourage |
| 2. Enter the room with a purpose and a plan: Most of | | | | people to trust you, and they will feel an unconscious |
| us feel uncomfortable during the first few moments | | | | need to reciprocate by sending business or resources |
| when we enter a networking event, particularly if we | | | | to you as well. |
| don't know anyone.o First, think positive, powerful | | | | Once we introverts practice the simple principles of |
| thoughts "I am energetic, confident and successful. | | | | planning our approach; reviewing topics for |
| Tonight I will meet (3, 5, 10) people who will be helpful to | | | | conversation; and taking the spotlight off ourselves by |
| my business or others in my network." By thinking and | | | | focusing it on other people, we'll not only become more |
| visualizing positive situations, your energy will draw | | | | comfortable in networking situations, but may find |
| others to you; it's a law of nature!o If there is no | | | | ourselves the life of the party! |
| greeter to make you feel more comfortable, take a | | | | |