Self-Help, Coaching Or Counseling - Which Are Right For Me?

Self-Help?shown to be very effective for many of the more
It used to be considered a rite-of-passage many yearsdifficult cases.
ago for boys to learn how to fix their own car and girlsCounseling is a healing process, usually talk-based, that
to become a wiz in the kitchen. Times change! Carsoccurs in a confidential, safe and trusting environment.
are now so complicated that very few people haveThe Counselor assists the client in problem solving by
the skill, or time, to fix their own car; many women arelistening, reflecting back, exploring deep feelings and
so busy at work that they have to struggle to keep upasking provocative questions. Counseling offers clients
with family obligations, let alone the latest elaboratea unique opportunity to reflect on, understand, and
cooking gadgets.challenge their irrational thinking. The client learns to
But while these skills can be learned, today it takes aaccept themselves are as they are through
greater level of talent and focus. Today we rely muchunderstanding and then to make fundamental
more on specialists for many of the services webehavioral changes for the better. The thrust of
require.psychological treatment is to help the client find the
So it is with mental/emotional self-help. It is noble andstrength to make these fundamental changes in order
uplifting to help yourself, or a friend, through a roughto cope with their unique challenges.
patch, or to have simple curiosity as to your ownSome people think Counselors have white coats,
potential for growth.beards and make their clients lie on a couch. This is
Perhaps you know that "something isn't quite right" with(largely) a myth along with the misperception that
yourself, but you are not ready to accept professionalcounseling is "just for crazy people", the self-absorbed,
counseling; you just want to browse and explore someor those that think they need many years of analysis.
self-help options and get some ideas. Or, you knowOn the contrary, people usually seek counseling when
something is definitely wrong and you need to seekthey feel that something is "wrong" in their life, they feel
some type of relief. You may look for some specificthey need relief but they can no longer help
help, or ask friends or family for recommendations. Or,themselves or go to friends or family. This could be for
you may have had, or are in, some form of coachinginterpersonal, work, or other needs. They need to
or counseling and you want to augment what youreceive an impartial, objective, and professional, point of
learned in the sessions.view at this point in their life.
Perhaps you are fed-up with the way your life is going.Treatment usually occurs in-person and weekly, but for
Or, you may want some useful exercises to combatmany clients with less serious problems, effective
negative emotions or bad habits or patterns. You maycounseling can occur online or on the phone and need
want to feel lovable or less lonely, build life skills, makenot take a very long time to achieve results. Most
better choices, manage your moods better, findhealth insurance policies offer coverage for
passion or purpose or motivation, be your ideal weight,psychological counseling sessions.
master rejection or stress or self-empowerment, andEven more recently, some Psychologists are finding
so forth.that coaching can be a very useful adjunct for their
While self-help can bring excellent results, we alsopatients both before and after psychological counseling
have to recognize when we are no longer able toin order to identify or sustain better behaviors and
make progress by ourselves, when we are not gettingthoughts.
good help from our friends and family, or when weHow to Choose Professional Help?
may have serious problems that need a trainedThere are a few basic areas where counseling and
professional to help.coaching differ. The subjects, goals, relationships, and
In short: we need to know what types of assistancetreatments are not the same for these two helping
are appropriate for our particular circumstances:modalities.
self-help, coaching and/or counseling.Traditional counseling mostly deals with discovering and
What is Coaching?understanding the client's emotional pain of the past,
The human potential movement and positivewhile coaching, for the most part, focuses on
psychology brought coaching into the limelight in thestimulating a person's positive emotions as it relates to
80s. Corporations used coaching to manage changetheir present and future vision for themselves.
stemming from downsizing, mergers and acquisitions. InCoaches are usually more focused on the client's
the last decade we've seen coaching take off andstated, specific, performance or life goals such as
provide people with tools to reach not only theirpositive functioning, achievement, focused action plans,
professional but personal potential and goals.and specific outcomes. In contrast, Counselors focus
The International Coaching Federation (ICF) defineson not always obvious deep feelings and ideas and
coaching as the relationship between the Coach andidentifying the causes of dysfunctional behaviors (the
their clients which assists people in fulfilling (usuallyunderstanding of which provides insight into positive
stated and specific) goals and improving their quality ofbehavioral change). They may work closely with a
living. A Coach is basically a (trained and experienced)Psychiatrist, If warranted, for medication management
personal cheerleader who encourages, endorses,which can be quite beneficial in some cases.
acknowledges and supports you until you feelCounseling and coaching differ in the function of the
comfortable enough to maintain your goals fully onclient relationship: Counselors are experts and
your own. Lifestyle or Wellness Coaches are likeCoaches are co-creative team partners. The function
Sports Coaches or Personal Trainers, in someof change in coaching is to make the process
respects, but differ in many other ways. For example,enjoyable and motivating for the client. In counseling,
they focus on helping you become a winner, notthe process of change might be emotionally painful until
(usually) on your physical performance, but on lifestylethe client reaches equilibrium at which time deep
and work-related goals.personal insight and, therefore, behavioral modification
Coaching offers clients versatility. Coaches need to becan be achieved.
excellent, active listeners in order to help their clientsThere are several other distinctions between Coaches
develop insight into their resistances and take theand Counselors: for instance, the amount of
necessary steps toward positive change.self-disclosure, who is responsible for the outcomes,
Most Coaches have some formal training but fewand how payment is treated. With coaching, the Coach
carry the ICF Certification at this time. Coaching is amanages the process but the client is responsible for
relativity young field and, as it grows, more Coachesthe outcomes. In counseling, the Counselor is
will be asked to comply with ICF by-laws,responsible for focusing the client's outcomes so that
re-certification standards and other requirements.the client achieves the required self-understanding.
Coaching works best before and after psychologicalCoaches can take classes and may be do an
treatment (if such treatment is needed). It helps theinternship and continuing education, while Counselors
client acknowledge their resistance to change andmust show years of coursework, a post-graduate
then, what they can do to reach their stated goals.degree, and pass state sanctioned licensing exams,
What is Psychological Counseling?plus take periodic, mandatory, continuing education.
A Psychological Counselor, aka Psychologist, is aMany psychological counselors hold a number of
trained (at an accredited school) and licensed (by theadditional certifications, e.g. Employee Assistance
State) mental health professional that may use one orPrograms, Substance Abuse, Eating Disorders, and so
more approaches to helping their clients achieve someforth. Both counseling and coaching can play a valuable
level of self-understanding and, thus, behaviorrole in helping you achieve your goals when self-help
modification. There are many different "schools" ofand friends are no longer enough. All methods have a
mental health counseling thought, and many differentuseful role to play, and, in fact, work well together at
mental health professions that can offer effectiveappropriate times.
therapy. Today, most Psychiatrists (a Medical DoctorThe full article, available for free at our website,
specializing in mental health) focus on symptom reliefcontains a very useful "Choice Matrix" that
through medication management and usually do not dosummarizes and expands on this material. In addition,
much talk-based therapy beyond ongoing medical andthere are many other very practical self-help articles,
symptom assessment. The combination of medicationas well as an economical online store for materials
management plus Psychological Counseling has beenwith greater depth, and self-help exercises.