| There are different levels of support that a parent can | | | | can do. They may get angry with you for the moment, |
| provide, depending on the age and maturity levels of | | | | but that too, will pass. And eventually they will realize |
| their child. When a child is very young, the supportive | | | | that you made the decision out of love. |
| parent can do relatively simple things such as posting a | | | | Supporting your teenager also means being active in |
| drawing on the refrigerator after giving the child rave | | | | their interests. Transporting them to and watching their |
| reviews on their creation. | | | | sporting events, talking with their teachers to find out |
| The supportive parent must give the child their | | | | how they are doing in school, asking to see their |
| undivided attention when the child has something to | | | | homework, and also making them responsible for |
| say. How many times do you see a mother or father | | | | chores at home. |
| completely ignore a small child who calls their name out | | | | Don't forget to make time to sit down (uninterrupted) |
| over and over again, as if they don't hear them. Do | | | | to talk with your teenager about how things are going |
| you find yourself thinking, "Answer your child!" | | | | at school, with their friends, or other activities. This |
| Obviously its important to teach your child that they | | | | shows that you respect them and are supportive of |
| are not to interrupt while the parent is in the middle of | | | | them. Giving them this type of attention is not difficult |
| another conversation, but even then, the parent should | | | | to do, but often times, parents believe that because |
| lean to the child and whisper, "Wait until mommy is | | | | their child is no longer "young" that this type of attention |
| finished with this conversation," rather than just ignoring | | | | is not as important. The truth is, that it is actually a very |
| the child. Not only is that teaching your child to be | | | | important and necessary thing in a young adult's life, |
| courteous, but it is also being supportive. You are | | | | because they are now making decisions that may |
| acknowledging your child's needs, but asking them to | | | | affect the rest of their lives. This is when they need |
| wait their turn. | | | | the most advice and support from their parents. |
| Supporting Teenagers | | | | But that type of conversation and supervision should |
| As the child gets older and more mature, their need for | | | | not begin when the child becomes a teenager. |
| support changes. A teenager's need for emotional | | | | Supportive dialog should have begun as an infant, and |
| support is more complex than before. They have a | | | | continued into the teen years. It is not uncommon for |
| need to be heard and to be respected by their | | | | parents to realize that the child needs more structure |
| parents. | | | | and supervision after things have gotten out of control. |
| Too many children do not treat their parents with | | | | Unfortunately, if you haven't set the guidelines and rules |
| respect, and when you ask them why they disrespect | | | | before they become teens, its going to be very difficult |
| their parent, they will respond that their parents don't | | | | to make an impact now. |
| give them respect so why should they give respect to | | | | Supporting a Grown & Independent Child |
| their parent? That's a good point, actually. Most parents | | | | Once again, the role of a supportive parent changes |
| do not consider their teenagers as children, and they | | | | once the child has grown up and moved away from |
| do not consider them adults either. Somewhere along | | | | the home. The only way you can ensure that your |
| the way, the teenager is dismissed and the parent | | | | grown child will come to you for advice or support is to |
| forgets that the teenager has needs too. The teen is | | | | make sure that you offer advice ONLY when asked. |
| left to fend for themselves and sometimes make | | | | Hopefully, you have raised your child to make good |
| self-destructive decisions such as drugs, alcohol or | | | | decisions and be a responsible adult. Now, they are |
| reckless behavior. | | | | here to get practical advice or comfort from the |
| So, how do you support your teenager? First of all, | | | | parent, and your supportive role means you will not |
| supporting does not mean letting them do whatever | | | | criticize their decisions or make them feel like they are |
| they want to do. They need to know that you care, | | | | failing at adulthood. Of course they will make mistakes |
| and showing that you care means making some | | | | and they will also make decisions that you disagree |
| unpopular decisions. If your teen wants to go | | | | with. But your role as a supportive parent is to be their |
| somewhere, its important to let them know that you | | | | cheerleader and their safe place to come home to. |
| care enough about them to find out where, how long | | | | What if they make a decision that you disagree with? |
| and with whom. Some parents have blind faith and | | | | Well, you can give them your non-judgmental |
| don't even inquire as to where their child is going and | | | | perspective on the situation and then tell them that |
| this can often be interpreted as uncaring or | | | | either way they decide to go you will support them. I |
| unsupportive by a teen. | | | | guarantee that if they walk away from you feeling |
| What if they want to do something and you feel it | | | | better than when they came to you, they will come |
| would be dangerous or inappropriate at their age? | | | | back to you the next time they need your love, advice |
| Well, being supportive means explaining your point of | | | | and support. |
| view and hopefully you can compromise a happy | | | | And the best part is, they will know what it means to |
| medium with your teen. But sometimes that is not an | | | | be a loving and supportive parent - and this will be |
| option, and the answer no with an explanation, is all you | | | | passed on to their children. |