| 1. They have met someone else (distraction). Their | | | | needs. |
| emotional energy is flowing toward another person. | | | | 4. They are tired of feeling like a failure (downtrodden). |
| This is particularly true when a husband quits trying in a | | | | They feel like their best just has not been good |
| marriage. They will tell their wives "I don't love you | | | | enough for the marriage and that their spouse is never |
| anymore" or "I am not sure I want to be in this | | | | pleased. They feel no matter what they have done |
| marriage". Nine times out of ten there is someone else. | | | | they have failed. |
| 2. They feel they are not listened to (discouragement). | | | | 5. They see no hope of change (depressed). They will |
| Men tend to complain more often than women that | | | | extrapolate. They will say "the last two years..." "The |
| they are not listened to which leads to | | | | last five years have been this way..." so they quit |
| discouragement. The person concludes, "Why should I | | | | trying. They give up hope that things will ever change, |
| keep trying?" | | | | so as a result they quit trying.To re-engage your |
| 3. They can't resolve their inner emotional conflicts | | | | spouse, acknowledge your part in the problem |
| (detoured). A person quits trying when they are so | | | | (confession). Look for the hurt in their hurt and validate |
| self-focused and so pre-occupied with their own | | | | it (compassion). Finally, respond proactively to meet |
| emotional issues. This is particularly true when | | | | their needs (change). |
| someone is suffering from depression. They can be | | | | Resource: Robert "Bob" Moeller, President Of Marriage |
| very self-focused about their pain, hopelessness, and | | | | Vine, Inc. |
| sadness. Often they will contribute nothing to the | | | | NOTE: You can freely redistribute this resource, |
| marriage. This is simple because they are being | | | | electronically or in print, provided you leave the author's |
| detoured in the area of their own unmet emotional | | | | contact information below intact. |