| Why didn't someone tell me a few years ago? It IS ok | | | | everything and everyone but ourselves. |
| to quit! Many of you have heard my real life burnout | | | | According to research individuals who have goals and |
| story. While experiencing a tremendous success-fille | | | | pursue them are more satisfied with their lives. But my |
| life in the field of consulting for mental health facilities | | | | experience as a mental health specialist and certified |
| and hospitals, I appeared to have it all. I was raising my | | | | "recovering workaholic" is that if we are driven by |
| son as a single mom, building a very lucrative business, | | | | early roles or other motives such as perfectionism or a |
| and it looked to everyone on the outside that I was | | | | need for approval, we will have difficulty letting go |
| living a charmed life. Why then did I literally walk out on | | | | when enough is enough. Our loyalty to situations, jobs, |
| all of it in a day's time, close my office, fire my staff | | | | even relationships makes it hard to move on to new |
| and go home physically and mentally exhausted? | | | | and different agendas. However, the "dangling carrot" |
| In part, the message I received growing up as did | | | | whatever it is won't keep us going forever. |
| many us was "if first you don't succeed try, try again. | | | | Those who will not let go in the face of obvious failure |
| From the time we are old enough to understand the | | | | or will not slow their pace when everything indicates |
| message it is loud and clear to never, never give up on | | | | they need to are likely to experience a myriad of |
| your goals and dreams. After all, winners never quit | | | | stress related diseases such as auto-immune |
| and who wants to be a loser? My early learning taught | | | | disorders from a reved up immune system, sleep |
| me that enough was never enough. If you are tired | | | | problems from obsessive thinking and anxiety, |
| that is not an excuse so you have to keep on going. | | | | stomach and digestive problems, and are at high risk |
| Mark is a forty year old man who first sought | | | | for strokes and heart attacks. If the knowledge of this |
| counseling in my office with the complaint that he no | | | | won't slow you down, don't worry. Your body will |
| longer was interested in anything. He described a daily | | | | eventually do it for you. |
| dread of facing work and his family activities, feeling | | | | Here are a few tips for getting off the treadmill, out of |
| tired all the time and a general lack of motivation. | | | | the responsibility trap and on to a life of smelling the |
| This seemed out of character given Mark's successful | | | | roses: |
| track record as a go-getter, active, busy, successful in | | | | Listen to your body. It talks louder than words. Ask |
| his career, and a devoted family man. Mark was | | | | yourself why your physical well-being is not at the top |
| always there to help neighbors and friends. It was the | | | | of your priority list (the underlying motive again). |
| general consensus that if you wanted the job done, | | | | Check with the people who know you best. Ask them |
| ask Mark. What went wrong that for the last six or so | | | | if they see you not able to stop, slow down, or give up |
| months Mark had lost interest in most everything. | | | | when you need to. |
| Mark's history and a depression inventory which | | | | Ask yourself if you have an old belief that you have to |
| showed e score in the moderate to high range, | | | | "do enough to be enough". This will help you to see |
| suggested Mark's "hero child" image had hit a wall. | | | | you may be measuring your worth by what you are |
| Many times we do not know what motivates our | | | | doing not who you are. |
| behavior until what we are doing does not work any | | | | Check your approval-seeking meter. Do you always |
| more. Mark's being the oldest of six children was | | | | put others needs before yours? Do you have trouble |
| always expected to be responsible, to take care of | | | | saying no when you need to? |
| the other children, help around the house, and to get | | | | Along with your approval seeking meter give your guilt |
| pretty much perfect grades. This role from his | | | | and fear meters a good once over as well. The two |
| childhood has served him well until burnout set in. | | | | powerful emotions will run your decision making and |
| Burnout usually means we are busy taking care of | | | | your life if you let them. |