Every Mom Worries

iv id="body">before symptoms appear and from two to ten days
Sitterphobe "I never have a second to myself," thisafter. "Even a doctor can't tell you exactly when a
mother tells you (and tells you and tells you). Youcold is no longer transmittable," Dr. Neibart says. So
agree, judging by her slightly frazzled demeanor, thatunless you care to raise your child in a bubble, he's
she could use a break. Maybe a trip to the gym. Agoing to catch colds -- lots of colds. And that's okay.
date with her husband. Time to herself. So youFor the most part, colds are more of a nuisance for
recommend the great babysitter you've found. Shekids than a serious health problem. As for proper cold
responds with one of those "but-I-love-my-children"etiquette? Keep your child home until any fever or
looks. And says something like: "Nobody can care forlethargy has subsided. Then, once he's feeling better,
a child as well as her own mother."let him go about life as usual.
Reality check: "A lot of mothers suffer incredible guiltMommy Einstein She plays Mozart CDs for her infant,
about needing help to care for their children," Dr. Bergeruses flash cards on her toddler, and spends her week
says. "And if Mom works full-time, the guilt ischauffeuring her children to and from karate, art,
compounded. Every spare second, she figures, needssoccer, piano, ballet, and more. After an hour with one
to be lavished on her kids." Trouble is, an overwhelmedof her French-speaking, tennis-acing prodigies, you ditch
mom isn't going to be on top of her game. Everyyour secret hope of an Ivy League education for your
parent (and every marriage) can benefit from thepreschooler (whose extracurricular activities include
occasional kid-free outing. "It recharges your batteriesplaying "Princess Barbie Gets Married" and painting her
and allows you to breathe in a different kind ofshoes with nail polish).
atmosphere," Dr. Berger says. "When you take careReality check: "There's simply no evidence that
of yourself, you take better care of your kids." And ifoverexposing young children to flash cards, Mozart, or
you don't work outside the home, hiring the occasionalearly-reading programs leads to higher intelligence or
sitter teaches your children that people other than youeven better SAT scores," says child and adolescent
can provide them with care and safety. Besides,psychiatrist Alvin Rosenfeld, M.D., coauthor of The
there's another bonus to getting away every now andOver-Scheduled Child: Avoiding the Hyper- Parenting
then: When you return home, not only will youTrap. Yet our culture pressures concerned parents to
appreciate your kids even more, they'll appreciate youbegin early if they want their child to be academically
more too.competitive. "That attitude is doing much more harm
Cold Cop A one-woman germ patrol, this mom isthan good," Dr. Rosenfeld says.
always on the lookout for telltale signs of germs thatSugar Shunner This mom enforces a strict no-sweets
can cause colds. When you're around her, you'repolicy. No cookies, candy, or ice cream. Her idea of a
forever fearing that your child may -- horrors! -- sniffle"treat" is a granola-and-yogurt "sundae."
or cough, resulting in one of Mrs. Germophobe'sReality check: Loading up on nutritionally void sugar
nervous "you're-putting-my-children-at-risk" looks.calories isn't wise, but forbidding sugar entirely isn't the
Reality check: The fact is that kids get an average ofanswer either, says Lynn Marotz, Ph.D., R.N., a
six colds a year, says Eric Neibart, M.D., an instructor ofprofessor of human development at the University of
infectious disease and internal medicine at Mount SinaiKansas and coauthor of Health, Safety, and Nutrition
School of Medicine, in New York City. Thus, at anyfor the Young Child. Completely restricting sugary
given time, a good 10 to 15 percent of your child'sfoods can backfire big time: Instead of having a child
peers are contagious. And the culprits are impossiblewho occasionally indulges his sweet tooth, you may
to detect, since colds are contagious a few dayscreate a kid obsessed with cookies, candy, and cake.