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Ways to Cope With Bereavement

Most traumas, including the death of a spousepredictable, and controllable world. The
are potentially shattering experiences. Theseoverwhelming emotions which result from such
events can disrupt the survivor's social,challenges often drive individuals into a
emotional, and cognitive worlds. Althoughstate of cognitive business. They slip into a
there has been frequent mention in thecycle of ruminative thinking trying
literature that traumatic situations causeunsuccessfully to figure it all out. Based on
people to talk about their experiences mostresearch, it is hypothesized that social
evidence has been anecdotal. When someonesharing helps to undermine this cognitive
within a social network dies, members of thebusiness cycle. This leads to predict that
network are naturally drawn together. Duringemotional memories that were not shared would
the grieving period especially within thebe associated with higher cognitive needs
first few days or weeks the survivorsthan emotional memories that were shared.
socially share their emotions and memoriesThis function of social sharing is also very
with  each  other.relevant  in  the  context  of  bereavement.
Many of the discussion topics surround theExperiencing the death of a spouse, often
individual who died, of course, but funeralsshatters people's basic beliefs that they
and grieving rituals often include the sociallive in an orderly, understandable, and
sharing of other personal and familymeaningful world. As a result, individuals
histories. Although researched conducted tofrequently search for some meaning or try to
date has not found compelling evidence thatmake sense out of their negative experiences.
social sharing leads to emotional recovery,Finding meaning in the loss of spouse is
our data suggested that it may serve severalthought to be one way for dealing with and
other important cognitive, psychological, andadjusting to the event. Through the use of
social  functions.social sharing, people can contribute to give
both the death itself and its consequences
Analysis and Recommendations for Steps tomore  sense  and  meaning.
Handle The Loss of a Spouse in the First
Year. The roles we have within our socialReferences:
networks are not often discussed or clearly
defined. One of the ironies of having aStroebe, W., Stroebe, M., Schut, H., Zech,
spouse die is that we openly discuss theE., & van den Bout, J. (1997, June). Must we
person, our feelings about him or her, andgive sorrow words? Paper presented at the
become conscious of that person's influenceThird International Conference on Grief and
on us. As far as it applies to bereavement,Bereavement in Contemporary Society,
the death of a loved one generally introducesWashington,  DC.
chaos in people's personal universe, which
may end up in denial and in alteration of theWatson, D., & Pennebaker, J. W. (1989).
sense of reality. When bereaved individualsHealth complaints, stress, and distress:
socially share the loss of a loved one, theExploring the central role of negative
contribution helps to give both the deathaffectivity. Psychological Review, 2,
itself  and  its  consequences  more reality.234-254.
A widow has to go through a lot when herWortman, C. B., & Silver, R. C. (1989). The
spouse dies especially when she is verymyths of coping with loss. Journal of
young. The death of spouse very oftenConsulting and Clinical Psychology, 57,
challenges our beliefs of a coherent,349-357.



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