| Most traumas, including the death of a spouse are | | | | coherent, predictable, and controllable world. The |
| potentially shattering experiences. These events can | | | | overwhelming emotions which result from such |
| disrupt the survivor's social, emotional, and cognitive | | | | challenges often drive individuals into a state of |
| worlds. Although there has been frequent mention in | | | | cognitive business. They slip into a cycle of ruminative |
| the literature that traumatic situations cause people to | | | | thinking trying unsuccessfully to figure it all out. Based |
| talk about their experiences most evidence has been | | | | on research, it is hypothesized that social sharing helps |
| anecdotal. When someone within a social network | | | | to undermine this cognitive business cycle. This leads |
| dies, members of the network are naturally drawn | | | | to predict that emotional memories that were not |
| together. During the grieving period especially within the | | | | shared would be associated with higher cognitive |
| first few days or weeks the survivors socially share | | | | needs than emotional memories that were shared. |
| their emotions and memories with each other. | | | | This function of social sharing is also very relevant in |
| Many of the discussion topics surround the individual | | | | the context of bereavement. |
| who died, of course, but funerals and grieving rituals | | | | Experiencing the death of a spouse, often shatters |
| often include the social sharing of other personal and | | | | people's basic beliefs that they live in an orderly, |
| family histories. Although researched conducted to | | | | understandable, and meaningful world. As a result, |
| date has not found compelling evidence that social | | | | individuals frequently search for some meaning or try |
| sharing leads to emotional recovery, our data | | | | to make sense out of their negative experiences. |
| suggested that it may serve several other important | | | | Finding meaning in the loss of spouse is thought to be |
| cognitive, psychological, and social functions. | | | | one way for dealing with and adjusting to the event. |
| Analysis and Recommendations for Steps to Handle | | | | Through the use of social sharing, people can |
| The Loss of a Spouse in the First Year. The roles we | | | | contribute to give both the death itself and its |
| have within our social networks are not often | | | | consequences more sense and meaning. |
| discussed or clearly defined. One of the ironies of | | | | References: |
| having a spouse die is that we openly discuss the | | | | Stroebe, W., Stroebe, M., Schut, H., Zech, E., & van den |
| person, our feelings about him or her, and become | | | | Bout, J. (1997, June). Must we give sorrow words? |
| conscious of that person's influence on us. As far as it | | | | Paper presented at the Third International Conference |
| applies to bereavement, the death of a loved one | | | | on Grief and Bereavement in Contemporary Society, |
| generally introduces chaos in people's personal | | | | Washington, DC. |
| universe, which may end up in denial and in alteration | | | | Watson, D., & Pennebaker, J. W. (1989). Health |
| of the sense of reality. When bereaved individuals | | | | complaints, stress, and distress: Exploring the central |
| socially share the loss of a loved one, the contribution | | | | role of negative affectivity. Psychological Review, 2, |
| helps to give both the death itself and its | | | | 234-254. |
| consequences more reality. | | | | Wortman, C. B., & Silver, R. C. (1989). The myths of |
| A widow has to go through a lot when her spouse | | | | coping with loss. Journal of Consulting and Clinical |
| dies especially when she is very young. The death of | | | | Psychology, 57, 349-357. |
| spouse very often challenges our beliefs of a | | | | |