| How do you know when you like someone? If you're | | | | interact with the same people regularly. Become a |
| like most people, it's a gut feeling. You just "know." | | | | familiar face, and soon you'll find that men are more |
| As a result, if you asked a man to explain why he | | | | interested. |
| was attracted to a woman, he would probably tell you | | | | 3. Similarity |
| the wrong answers. He would say that it was her | | | | This is a crucial attraction factor from a statistical point |
| personality or her smile or the way she laughed. But he | | | | of view. According to "Sex in America: A Definitive |
| didn't make the decision to be attracted to her from his | | | | Survey," people tend to marry partners who are similar |
| head; he felt it in his heart. | | | | in age, in education, in religion, and in race or ethnic |
| Most of us don't tend to examine how we form | | | | background. |
| feelings of attraction. All we know is that we feel an | | | | We tend to marry people like us for a variety of |
| irresistible force drawing us closer to another person. | | | | reasons. Many partners tend to meet through their |
| Many more factors are at work in creating attraction | | | | social network, which implies that they already have a |
| than the obvious traits of appearance, personality, and | | | | good deal of things in common. Relationships based on |
| sexual chemistry. Today, I'm going to share four crucial | | | | a common set of values tend to face fewer conflicts |
| factors that create attraction and tell you what they | | | | when it comes to big life decisions like childrearing. |
| mean for YOU. | | | | What this means for you is twofold. First, you should |
| First of all, let me clarify something. Attractiveness is | | | | recognize that focusing your dating efforts on meeting |
| not simply a measure of objectively "attractive" traits in | | | | people with whom you already share something in |
| a person. No one is ever attractive on their own; | | | | common (like a hobby, a profession, or the same |
| they're always attractive TO someone. For example, | | | | group of friends) will yield greater results than hoping to |
| when you look in the mirror, you decide whether or not | | | | bump into the "perfect man" on the street, on the bus, |
| you are attractive to yourself. This doesn't mean that | | | | or in a crowded nightclub. |
| someone else will look at you and judge your | | | | Second, it is always best to play up your similarities |
| attractiveness in the same way. | | | | rather than your differences when you first meet |
| Social psychology has determined that there are | | | | someone that you are interested in. Find out what you |
| multiple factors that influence interpersonal attraction - | | | | have in common, even if it's as basic as a similar taste |
| and, lo and behold, physical attractiveness is only one | | | | in music, and build your conversation from that point. |
| of them. | | | | 4. Reciprocal liking |
| 1. Propinquity | | | | This is one of my favorite factors of attraction: it's the |
| The first factor is "propinquity," which means that | | | | theory that you can encourage someone's interest in |
| people tend to form relationships with others living | | | | you simply by showing your interest in them. |
| nearby. For example, the chances of you starting a | | | | We all know people who've liked us immensely since |
| relationship with someone from Denmark are much | | | | the moment they met us, and it's almost impossible not |
| lower than the chances of you starting a relationship | | | | to like them back. There's something enormously |
| with someone who lives in your town. | | | | flattering about being liked by someone, especially if |
| This has two implications. First of all, dismissing local | | | | they're an attractive member of the opposite sex. |
| men from your dating radar may not be a good idea. I | | | | This principle raises doubts about the effectiveness of |
| know many women who will only date men who are | | | | the "ice queen" technique, whereby women pretend to |
| NOT from their hometown. No matter what their | | | | be aloof and indifferent in order to make men pursue |
| opinions are about "local boys," they're certainly | | | | them. There is no sound scientific research proving |
| lowering their chances of finding a partner. | | | | that it pays to act coldly, UNLESS the other person is |
| Second, you can decrease the distance between you | | | | super-attractive and used to women fawning all over |
| and thousands of eligible men with the click of a button. | | | | him. For 90% of us, acting in friendly and interested |
| That's right: with the internet. Internet dating brings | | | | manner will ignite a reciprocal liking. |
| thousands of eligible singles into close contact, making | | | | So what should you do? Smile! Let a man know that |
| geographical distance less of an obstacle. | | | | you enjoy his company. For shy guys, or guys who |
| 2. Familiarity | | | | are afraid of rejection, your display of interest will be |
| The second factor is "familiarity," also known as the | | | | exactly what he needs to get the courage to take |
| "exposure effect." This means that you tend to like a | | | | your interaction to the next step. |
| person that you see more often, or that you're familiar | | | | Now that you understand some of the genuine factors |
| with. This explains why so many students and | | | | that influence why people find each other attractive, |
| co-workers tend to form relationships: they see one | | | | you're ready to find out how you can move beyond |
| another on a regular basis in the classroom or in the | | | | mere attractiveness to irresistibility. Find out more in my |
| office. | | | | premium course on "How to Be Irresistible to Men." |
| For you, this means that you can increase your | | | | You'll discover how to work on a deeper level to |
| attractiveness to men by being a "regular." Make a | | | | increase your irresistible allure, attract love into your life, |
| habit of going to the same cafés. Go to the gym | | | | and heal baggage left from the past. |
| at the same time every day. Join a club where you | | | | |