| How do you know when you like someone? If | | | | with the same people regularly. Become a |
| you're like most people, it's a gut feeling. | | | | familiar face, and soon you'll find that men |
| You just "know." | | | | are more interested. |
| | | | |
| As a result, if you asked a man to explain | | | | 3. Similarity |
| why he was attracted to a woman, he would | | | | |
| probably tell you the wrong answers. He | | | | This is a crucial attraction factor from a |
| would say that it was her personality or her | | | | statistical point of view. According to "Sex |
| smile or the way she laughed. But he didn't | | | | in America: A Definitive Survey," people tend |
| make the decision to be attracted to her from | | | | to marry partners who are similar in age, in |
| his head; he felt it in his heart. | | | | education, in religion, and in race or ethnic |
| | | | background. |
| Most of us don't tend to examine how we form | | | | |
| feelings of attraction. All we know is that | | | | We tend to marry people like us for a variety |
| we feel an irresistible force drawing us | | | | of reasons. Many partners tend to meet |
| closer to another person. | | | | through their social network, which implies |
| | | | that they already have a good deal of things |
| Many more factors are at work in creating | | | | in common. Relationships based on a common |
| attraction than the obvious traits of | | | | set of values tend to face fewer conflicts |
| appearance, personality, and sexual | | | | when it comes to big life decisions like |
| chemistry. Today, I'm going to share four | | | | childrearing. |
| crucial factors that create attraction and | | | | |
| tell you what they mean for YOU. | | | | What this means for you is twofold. First, |
| | | | you should recognize that focusing your |
| First of all, let me clarify something. | | | | dating efforts on meeting people with whom |
| Attractiveness is not simply a measure of | | | | you already share something in common (like a |
| objectively "attractive" traits in a person. | | | | hobby, a profession, or the same group of |
| No one is ever attractive on their own; | | | | friends) will yield greater results than |
| they're always attractive TO someone. For | | | | hoping to bump into the "perfect man" on the |
| example, when you look in the mirror, you | | | | street, on the bus, or in a crowded |
| decide whether or not you are attractive to | | | | nightclub. |
| yourself. This doesn't mean that someone | | | | |
| else will look at you and judge your | | | | Second, it is always best to play up your |
| attractiveness in the same way. | | | | similarities rather than your differences |
| | | | when you first meet someone that you are |
| Social psychology has determined that there | | | | interested in. Find out what you have in |
| are multiple factors that influence | | | | common, even if it's as basic as a similar |
| interpersonal attraction - and, lo and | | | | taste in music, and build your conversation |
| behold, physical attractiveness is only one | | | | from that point. |
| of them. | | | | |
| | | | 4. Reciprocal liking |
| 1. Propinquity | | | | |
| | | | This is one of my favorite factors of |
| The first factor is "propinquity," which | | | | attraction: it's the theory that you can |
| means that people tend to form relationships | | | | encourage someone's interest in you simply by |
| with others living nearby. For example, the | | | | showing your interest in them. |
| chances of you starting a relationship with | | | | |
| someone from Denmark are much lower than the | | | | We all know people who've liked us immensely |
| chances of you starting a relationship with | | | | since the moment they met us, and it's almost |
| someone who lives in your town. | | | | impossible not to like them back. There's |
| | | | something enormously flattering about being |
| This has two implications. First of all, | | | | liked by someone, especially if they're an |
| dismissing local men from your dating radar | | | | attractive member of the opposite sex. |
| may not be a good idea. I know many women | | | | |
| who will only date men who are NOT from their | | | | This principle raises doubts about the |
| hometown. No matter what their opinions are | | | | effectiveness of the "ice queen" technique, |
| about "local boys," they're certainly | | | | whereby women pretend to be aloof and |
| lowering their chances of finding a partner. | | | | indifferent in order to make men pursue them. |
| | | | There is no sound scientific research |
| Second, you can decrease the distance between | | | | proving that it pays to act coldly, UNLESS |
| you and thousands of eligible men with the | | | | the other person is super-attractive and used |
| click of a button. That's right: with the | | | | to women fawning all over him. For 90% of |
| internet. Internet dating brings thousands | | | | us, acting in friendly and interested manner |
| of eligible singles into close contact, | | | | will ignite a reciprocal liking. |
| making geographical distance less of an | | | | |
| obstacle. | | | | So what should you do? Smile! Let a man |
| | | | know that you enjoy his company. For shy |
| 2. Familiarity | | | | guys, or guys who are afraid of rejection, |
| | | | your display of interest will be exactly what |
| The second factor is "familiarity," also | | | | he needs to get the courage to take your |
| known as the "exposure effect." This means | | | | interaction to the next step. |
| that you tend to like a person that you see | | | | |
| more often, or that you're familiar with. | | | | Now that you understand some of the genuine |
| This explains why so many students and | | | | factors that influence why people find each |
| co-workers tend to form relationships: they | | | | other attractive, you're ready to find out |
| see one another on a regular basis in the | | | | how you can move beyond mere attractiveness |
| classroom or in the office. | | | | to irresistibility. Find out more in my |
| | | | premium course on "How to Be Irresistible to |
| For you, this means that you can increase | | | | Men." You'll discover how to work on a |
| your attractiveness to men by being a | | | | deeper level to increase your irresistible |
| "regular." Make a habit of going to the same | | | | allure, attract love into your life, and heal |
| cafés. Go to the gym at the same time | | | | baggage left from the past. |
| every day. Join a club where you interact | | | | |