| Is it a struggle and a challenge getting your kids to | | | | living room, this is manipulation at its best. The child who |
| complete their daily homework? Do you get frustrated | | | | knows that he or she is grounded to their bedroom |
| and dread homework time? If you answered yes to | | | | until submitting to a specific behavior will likely make it |
| either of these questions, this article is for you. This | | | | their duty to convince their parent that they really |
| article contains insightful solutions to your daily | | | | enjoy the consequence. By getting parents to believe |
| homework blues. Having worked as a mental health | | | | this may subsequently entice the parent to choose a |
| therapist for over 20 years, I noticed that many | | | | different consequence or eliminate the consequence |
| families share specific common unhealthy beliefs and | | | | altogether. In reality, your child would rather play outside |
| values centered on the issue of homework. This article | | | | or in public areas of your home instead spending days |
| identifies these unhealthy beliefs and values that | | | | and nights in his or her bedroom. |
| impede the homework process. | | | | If your child engages in activities in his or her bedroom |
| 1st Unhealthy Belief: "I need to assist my child with | | | | such as watching television or playing video games |
| homework because he or she doe not understand the | | | | instead of completing homework, you should remove |
| homework." | | | | these activities from your child's bedroom because he |
| Many parents feel that their children require | | | | or her is compromising your parental authority. These |
| assistance when completing homework. School | | | | items can be restored once your child follows your |
| teachers give children homework to practice specific | | | | rules. |
| skills taught that day in school. Your child, unless he or | | | | 5th Unhealthy Belief: "I believe that my child should |
| she was inattentive in class, should have a general | | | | serve a mandatory daily study hour regardless of his |
| idea of how to complete his or her homework. | | | | or her academic ability." |
| Sometimes, kids pretend that they do not know how | | | | Typically, a mandatory daily study hour consists of |
| to complete homework in hopes that their parent | | | | children completing homework and engaging in other |
| would do it for them. A parent who routinely helps their | | | | academic activities such as reading to complete the |
| child complete homework because of class | | | | hour. I would only recommend a child serve a daily |
| inattentiveness is reinforcing the inattentiveness. Why | | | | study hour if his or her report card grades fall below a |
| would your child choose to pay attention in class if he | | | | specific grade expectation. For instance, if you and |
| or she knows that you are going to help them with | | | | your child previously agreed that a daily study hour |
| their homework anyway? | | | | would be enforced if his or her grades fall below a C |
| Failing to pay attention in class is not an academic | | | | in any given subject, your child should be required to |
| issue. It is a behavioral issue that requires a behavioral | | | | serve a daily study hour for the next school term until |
| intervention. Your child needs to take responsibility for | | | | his or her grades improve to a C or better. |
| failing to pay attention in class. One way to do this is to | | | | If your child maintains grades consistent with your |
| have your child attend school the next day with his or | | | | expectations as noted on his or her report card, he or |
| her homework uncompleted. It is not your fault that | | | | she should only complete their daily homework and |
| your child failed to complete his or her homework. I | | | | should not be required to serve a daily study hour. Play |
| have worked with several parents who blamed | | | | time is very important to a child. Therefore, it is |
| themselves for and assumed responsibility of their | | | | necessary for children to have equal play and study |
| child's homework that they began experiencing signs | | | | time. A child should only have a mandatory study hour |
| of burnout. Give that responsibility over to your child. | | | | as a consequence to poor school grades as noted on |
| Your child will ultimately experience school | | | | his or her report card. |
| consequences for his or her failure to complete | | | | 6th Unhealthy Belief: "I believe that my child should |
| homework. By giving your child the ownership and | | | | begin completing homework after dinner each day." |
| responsibility of his or her homework promotes | | | | The best time for children to complete homework is |
| accountability, organization, and self-confidence. | | | | right after they get home from school. Once at home, |
| Parents should never fear having their children | | | | children should have a snack consisting of an edible |
| experience negative consequences. Consequences | | | | and a beverage before completing homework. The |
| are learning experiences that teach children right from | | | | snack time should be limited from 15 minutes to a half |
| wrong. If parents always protect their children from | | | | an hour. It is important for children to have a snack, |
| experiencing consequences, their children may never | | | | especially a beverage, before completing their |
| learn right from wrong. Instead, they will always expect | | | | homework because this helps re-energize their brain |
| their parents to pick up the pieces when they make a | | | | muscles. Since there is some daylight after school, this |
| mistake. | | | | presents as an incentive for children. The quicker your |
| Think of it this way - when you do not know how to | | | | child successfully completes his or her homework, the |
| complete a specific task at your place of employment, | | | | quicker he or she can engage in outside privileges. In |
| what do you do? Do you ask your significant other or | | | | addition, there would be plenty of time for children to |
| your employer how to complete the task? Obviously, | | | | complete their homework before bedtime. Children |
| you would get your instruction from your employer. | | | | who complete homework after dinner have less time |
| Therefore, your child needs to learn from his or her | | | | to complete homework. |
| school teacher. I am not suggesting that you shouldn't | | | | It is very important for you to tell your child when he |
| help your child every once in awhile. However, if | | | | or she needs to begin completing homework rather |
| assisting your child with homework becomes routine, | | | | than telling him or her the time that homework should |
| there is a problem. | | | | be completed. For instance, if you tell your child that |
| An easy indicator as to whether your child truly | | | | homework must be completed by 6:00pm, your child |
| requires assistance with homework is to ask his or her | | | | might feel like a failure if his or her homework extends |
| school teacher how much assistance your child | | | | beyond the designated time. In addition, your child might |
| requires with school work. If your child's school teacher | | | | rush to complete his or her homework making many |
| says that your child works independently and requires | | | | homework errors. |
| minimal assistance, then there is a strong possibility that | | | | Children typically find it very difficult completing |
| your child is manipulating by making you believe that he | | | | homework after dinner primarily because of fatigue. |
| or she requires significant assistance. | | | | Fatigue usually follows a heavy meal. Parents often |
| If your child's school teacher reports that your child | | | | extend their children's daily bedtime in order for them |
| frequently day dreams, fails to pay attention, and | | | | to complete their homework. Parents should never |
| requires significant assistance when completing school | | | | extend their children's bedtime because children need |
| work, you should probably consult with your child's | | | | their sleep and rest in order to grow and to function |
| physician to rule out medical and/or psychological | | | | properly the next day. |
| factors that might be contributing to these behaviors. | | | | 7th Unhealthy Belief: "My child refuses or forgets to |
| 2nd Unhealthy Belief: "My child will only complete his or | | | | bring homework home and there is nothing that I can |
| her homework in my presence." | | | | do to change his or her behavior." |
| This is a common misconception that parents share. | | | | First of all, you need to develop a rule at home that |
| The problem with having your child complete | | | | states that homework must be brought home and |
| homework in your presence is that there are usually | | | | completed daily. In addition, this rule must have its own |
| too many distractions or stimulation making it difficult | | | | unique consequence in the event that your child fails to |
| for him or her to focus and concentrate on homework. | | | | bring homework home. Which ever consequence you |
| Asking for your assist is also too convenient. Dinner | | | | choose to enforce, it is important that its duration lasts |
| preparation, people walking through the room, | | | | for one day, from the time your child arrives home |
| conversations, and telephone calls are all common | | | | from school till the time he or she goes to bed. It is |
| distractions to a child who is attempting to complete | | | | equally important that the duration of the consequence |
| homework. This is especially counterproductive for a | | | | last no more than one day per occurrence. If you |
| child who has been diagnosed with ADHD (Attention | | | | consequent your child for more than one day per |
| Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder). | | | | occurrence, your child will develop learned helplessness |
| The best place for a child to complete homework is in | | | | and will not be motivated to bring home or complete |
| his or her bedroom or some other secluded room of | | | | homework for the duration of the consequence |
| the home. Completing homework in a secluded room | | | | making the consequence ineffective. |
| would limit distractions/stimulation and make it less | | | | In order for you to learn whether or not your child has |
| convenient to ask you for assistance. | | | | homework each day, you should require him or her to |
| 3rd Unhealthy Belief: "Toys and games in my child's | | | | bring a note pad to and from school detailing daily |
| bedroom prevent him or her from completing | | | | homework assignments. Each day, your child should be |
| homework." | | | | responsible for logging homework assignments as well |
| Think in terms of your child completing homework in | | | | as having the school teacher verify and sign the note |
| his or her bedroom as a form of grounding. Your child | | | | pad. You should discuss the logistics of this technique |
| is not really grounded. However, your child should not | | | | with your child's school teacher prior to its |
| be allowed to exit his or her bedroom, for the | | | | implementation. |
| exception of bathroom breaks, until the homework is | | | | If your child claims that he or she forgets to bring |
| completed and checked by you. Since your child will | | | | home homework and/or the note pad, your child needs |
| receive limited attention from you, completing | | | | to be consequented at home. Consequenting your child |
| homework in the bedroom will only act as an incentive | | | | will encourage him or her to remember to bring |
| for your child to complete homework timely. This | | | | homework and/or the note pad home the next time. |
| technique will also help your child learn to focus, | | | | Please keep in mind that consequences always follow |
| become more organized and structured, and become | | | | forgetfulness. Therefore, we should never fail to give |
| accountable for his or her actions. | | | | children consequences when they forget specific |
| If by chance your child fails to complete his or her | | | | tasks. If forgetfulness is a routine problem for your child |
| homework by their bedtime, your child should attend | | | | that extends beyond homework, you should consider |
| school the following day with his or her homework | | | | having him or her evaluated by a physician to rule out |
| uncompleted. As mentioned earlier, your child will | | | | medical or psychological issues that might be |
| experience consequences at school for his or her | | | | contributing to forgetfulness. Sometimes, depression |
| failure to complete homework. | | | | and stress contribute to forgetfulness. However, if |
| 4th Unhealthy Belief: "My child loves being in his or her | | | | your child routinely remembers other things except for |
| bedroom and will never submit to completing | | | | his or her homework, your child might be attempting to |
| homework in there." | | | | manipulate you. |
| Even though plenty of parents tried to convince me | | | | It is my hope that the tips and techniques discussed in |
| that their children would rather spend days and nights | | | | this article reduce the homework blues at your home. |
| in their bedroom rather than playing outside or in the | | | | |