Different types of psychology


Defeating the Homework Blues

Is it a struggle and a challenge getting yourwho knows that he or she is grounded to their
kids to complete their daily homework? Dobedroom until submitting to a specific
you get frustrated and dread homework time?behavior will likely make it their duty to
If you answered yes to either of theseconvince their parent that they really enjoy
questions, this article is for you. Thisthe consequence. By getting parents to
article contains insightful solutions to yourbelieve this may subsequently entice the
daily homework blues. Having worked as aparent to choose a different consequence or
mental health therapist for over 20 years, Ieliminate the consequence altogether. In
noticed that many families share specificreality, your child would rather play outside
common unhealthy beliefs and values centeredor in public areas of your home instead
on the issue of homework. This articlespending days and nights in his or her
identifies these unhealthy beliefs and valuesbedroom.
that  impede  the  homework  process.
If your child engages in activities in his
1st Unhealthy Belief: "I need to assist myor her bedroom such as watching television or
child with homework because he or she doe notplaying video games instead of completing
understand  the  homework."homework, you should remove these activities
from your child's bedroom because he or her
Many parents feel that their childrenis compromising your parental authority.
require assistance when completing homework.These items can be restored once your child
School teachers give children homework tofollows  your  rules.
practice specific skills taught that day in
school. Your child, unless he or she was5th Unhealthy Belief: "I believe that my
inattentive in class, should have a generalchild should serve a mandatory daily study
idea of how to complete his or her homework.hour regardless of his or her academic
Sometimes, kids pretend that they do not knowability."
how to complete homework in hopes that their
parent would do it for them. A parent whoTypically, a mandatory daily study hour
routinely helps their child complete homeworkconsists of children completing homework and
because of class inattentiveness isengaging in other academic activities such as
reinforcing the inattentiveness. Why wouldreading to complete the hour. I would only
your child choose to pay attention in classrecommend a child serve a daily study hour if
if he or she knows that you are going to helphis or her report card grades fall below a
them  with  their  homework  anyway?specific grade expectation. For instance, if
you and your child previously agreed that a
Failing to pay attention in class is not andaily study hour would be enforced if his or
academic issue. It is a behavioral issueher grades fall below a C in any given
that requires a behavioral intervention.subject, your child should be required to
Your child needs to take responsibility forserve a daily study hour for the next school
failing to pay attention in class. One wayterm until his or her grades improve to a C
to do this is to have your child attendor  better.
school the next day with his or her homework
uncompleted. It is not your fault that yourIf your child maintains grades consistent
child failed to complete his or her homework.with your expectations as noted on his or her
I have worked with several parents whoreport card, he or she should only complete
blamed themselves for and assumedtheir daily homework and should not be
responsibility of their child's homework thatrequired to serve a daily study hour. Play
they began experiencing signs of burnout.time is very important to a child.
Give that responsibility over to your child.Therefore, it is necessary for children to
Your child will ultimately experience schoolhave equal play and study time. A child
consequences for his or her failure toshould only have a mandatory study hour as a
complete homework. By giving your child theconsequence to poor school grades as noted on
ownership and responsibility of his or herhis  or  her  report  card.
homework promotes accountability,
organization,  and  self-confidence.6th Unhealthy Belief: "I believe that my
child should begin completing homework after
Parents should never fear having theirdinner  each  day."
children experience negative consequences.
Consequences are learning experiences thatThe best time for children to complete
teach children right from wrong. If parentshomework is right after they get home from
always protect their children fromschool. Once at home, children should have a
experiencing consequences, their children maysnack consisting of an edible and a beverage
never learn right from wrong. Instead, theybefore completing homework. The snack time
will always expect their parents to pick upshould be limited from 15 minutes to a half
the  pieces  when  they  make  a  mistake.an hour. It is important for children to
have a snack, especially a beverage, before
Think of it this way - when you do not knowcompleting their homework because this helps
how to complete a specific task at your placere-energize their brain muscles. Since there
of employment, what do you do? Do you askis some daylight after school, this presents
your significant other or your employer howas an incentive for children. The quicker
to complete the task? Obviously, you wouldyour child successfully completes his or her
get your instruction from your employer.homework, the quicker he or she can engage in
Therefore, your child needs to learn from hisoutside privileges. In addition, there would
or her school teacher. I am not suggestingbe plenty of time for children to complete
that you shouldn't help your child every oncetheir homework before bedtime. Children who
in awhile. However, if assisting your childcomplete homework after dinner have less time
with homework becomes routine, there is ato  complete  homework.
problem.
It is very important for you to tell your
An easy indicator as to whether your childchild when he or she needs to begin
truly requires assistance with homework is tocompleting homework rather than telling him
ask his or her school teacher how muchor her the time that homework should be
assistance your child requires with schoolcompleted. For instance, if you tell your
work. If your child's school teacher sayschild that homework must be completed by
that your child works independently and6:00pm, your child might feel like a failure
requires minimal assistance, then there is aif his or her homework extends beyond the
strong possibility that your child isdesignated time. In addition, your child
manipulating by making you believe that he ormight rush to complete his or her homework
she  requires  significant  assistance.making  many  homework  errors.
If your child's school teacher reports thatChildren typically find it very difficult
your child frequently day dreams, fails tocompleting homework after dinner primarily
pay attention, and requires significantbecause of fatigue. Fatigue usually follows
assistance when completing school work, youa heavy meal. Parents often extend their
should probably consult with your child'schildren's daily bedtime in order for them to
physician to rule out medical and/orcomplete their homework. Parents should
psychological factors that might benever extend their children's bedtime because
contributing  to  these  behaviors.children need their sleep and rest in order
to grow and to function properly the next
2nd Unhealthy Belief: "My child will onlyday.
complete his or her homework in my presence."
7th Unhealthy Belief: "My child refuses or
This is a common misconception that parentsforgets to bring homework home and there is
share. The problem with having your childnothing that I can do to change his or her
complete homework in your presence is thatbehavior."
there are usually too many distractions or
stimulation making it difficult for him orFirst of all, you need to develop a rule at
her to focus and concentrate on homework.home that states that homework must be
Asking for your assist is also toobrought home and completed daily. In
convenient. Dinner preparation, peopleaddition, this rule must have its own unique
walking through the room, conversations, andconsequence in the event that your child
telephone calls are all common distractionsfails to bring homework home. Which ever
to a child who is attempting to completeconsequence you choose to enforce, it is
homework. This is especiallyimportant that its duration lasts for one
counterproductive for a child who has beenday, from the time your child arrives home
diagnosed with ADHD (Attention Deficitfrom school till the time he or she goes to
Hyperactivity  Disorder).bed. It is equally important that the
duration of the consequence last no more than
The best place for a child to completeone day per occurrence. If you consequent
homework is in his or her bedroom or someyour child for more than one day per
other secluded room of the home. Completingoccurrence, your child will develop learned
homework in a secluded room would limithelplessness and will not be motivated to
distractions/stimulation and make it lessbring home or complete homework for the
convenient  to  ask  you  for  assistance.duration of the consequence making the
consequence  ineffective.
3rd Unhealthy Belief: "Toys and games in my
child's bedroom prevent him or her fromIn order for you to learn whether or not
completing  homework."your child has homework each day, you should
require him or her to bring a note pad to and
Think in terms of your child completingfrom school detailing daily homework
homework in his or her bedroom as a form ofassignments. Each day, your child should be
grounding. Your child is not reallyresponsible for logging homework assignments
grounded. However, your child should not beas well as having the school teacher verify
allowed to exit his or her bedroom, for theand sign the note pad. You should discuss
exception of bathroom breaks, until thethe logistics of this technique with your
homework is completed and checked by you.child's school teacher prior to its
Since your child will receive limitedimplementation.
attention from you, completing homework in
the bedroom will only act as an incentive forIf your child claims that he or she forgets
your child to complete homework timely. Thisto bring home homework and/or the note pad,
technique will also help your child learn toyour child needs to be consequented at home.
focus, become more organized and structured,Consequenting your child will encourage him
and become accountable for his or heror her to remember to bring homework and/or
actions.the note pad home the next time. Please keep
in mind that consequences always follow
If by chance your child fails to completeforgetfulness. Therefore, we should never
his or her homework by their bedtime, yourfail to give children consequences when they
child should attend school the following dayforget specific tasks. If forgetfulness is a
with his or her homework uncompleted. Asroutine problem for your child that extends
mentioned earlier, your child will experiencebeyond homework, you should consider having
consequences at school for his or her failurehim or her evaluated by a physician to rule
to  complete  homework.out medical or psychological issues that
might be contributing to forgetfulness.
4th Unhealthy Belief: "My child loves beingSometimes, depression and stress contribute
in his or her bedroom and will never submitto forgetfulness. However, if your child
to  completing  homework  in  there."routinely remembers other things except for
his or her homework, your child might be
Even though plenty of parents tried toattempting  to  manipulate  you.
convince me that their children would rather
spend days and nights in their bedroom ratherIt is my hope that the tips and techniques
than playing outside or in the living room,discussed in this article reduce the homework
this is manipulation at its best. The childblues at your home.



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