| Is it a struggle and a challenge getting your | | | | who knows that he or she is grounded to their |
| kids to complete their daily homework? Do | | | | bedroom until submitting to a specific |
| you get frustrated and dread homework time? | | | | behavior will likely make it their duty to |
| If you answered yes to either of these | | | | convince their parent that they really enjoy |
| questions, this article is for you. This | | | | the consequence. By getting parents to |
| article contains insightful solutions to your | | | | believe this may subsequently entice the |
| daily homework blues. Having worked as a | | | | parent to choose a different consequence or |
| mental health therapist for over 20 years, I | | | | eliminate the consequence altogether. In |
| noticed that many families share specific | | | | reality, your child would rather play outside |
| common unhealthy beliefs and values centered | | | | or in public areas of your home instead |
| on the issue of homework. This article | | | | spending days and nights in his or her |
| identifies these unhealthy beliefs and values | | | | bedroom. |
| that impede the homework process. | | | | |
| | | | If your child engages in activities in his |
| 1st Unhealthy Belief: "I need to assist my | | | | or her bedroom such as watching television or |
| child with homework because he or she doe not | | | | playing video games instead of completing |
| understand the homework." | | | | homework, you should remove these activities |
| | | | from your child's bedroom because he or her |
| Many parents feel that their children | | | | is compromising your parental authority. |
| require assistance when completing homework. | | | | These items can be restored once your child |
| School teachers give children homework to | | | | follows your rules. |
| practice specific skills taught that day in | | | | |
| school. Your child, unless he or she was | | | | 5th Unhealthy Belief: "I believe that my |
| inattentive in class, should have a general | | | | child should serve a mandatory daily study |
| idea of how to complete his or her homework. | | | | hour regardless of his or her academic |
| Sometimes, kids pretend that they do not know | | | | ability." |
| how to complete homework in hopes that their | | | | |
| parent would do it for them. A parent who | | | | Typically, a mandatory daily study hour |
| routinely helps their child complete homework | | | | consists of children completing homework and |
| because of class inattentiveness is | | | | engaging in other academic activities such as |
| reinforcing the inattentiveness. Why would | | | | reading to complete the hour. I would only |
| your child choose to pay attention in class | | | | recommend a child serve a daily study hour if |
| if he or she knows that you are going to help | | | | his or her report card grades fall below a |
| them with their homework anyway? | | | | specific grade expectation. For instance, if |
| | | | you and your child previously agreed that a |
| Failing to pay attention in class is not an | | | | daily study hour would be enforced if his or |
| academic issue. It is a behavioral issue | | | | her grades fall below a C in any given |
| that requires a behavioral intervention. | | | | subject, your child should be required to |
| Your child needs to take responsibility for | | | | serve a daily study hour for the next school |
| failing to pay attention in class. One way | | | | term until his or her grades improve to a C |
| to do this is to have your child attend | | | | or better. |
| school the next day with his or her homework | | | | |
| uncompleted. It is not your fault that your | | | | If your child maintains grades consistent |
| child failed to complete his or her homework. | | | | with your expectations as noted on his or her |
| I have worked with several parents who | | | | report card, he or she should only complete |
| blamed themselves for and assumed | | | | their daily homework and should not be |
| responsibility of their child's homework that | | | | required to serve a daily study hour. Play |
| they began experiencing signs of burnout. | | | | time is very important to a child. |
| Give that responsibility over to your child. | | | | Therefore, it is necessary for children to |
| Your child will ultimately experience school | | | | have equal play and study time. A child |
| consequences for his or her failure to | | | | should only have a mandatory study hour as a |
| complete homework. By giving your child the | | | | consequence to poor school grades as noted on |
| ownership and responsibility of his or her | | | | his or her report card. |
| homework promotes accountability, | | | | |
| organization, and self-confidence. | | | | 6th Unhealthy Belief: "I believe that my |
| | | | child should begin completing homework after |
| Parents should never fear having their | | | | dinner each day." |
| children experience negative consequences. | | | | |
| Consequences are learning experiences that | | | | The best time for children to complete |
| teach children right from wrong. If parents | | | | homework is right after they get home from |
| always protect their children from | | | | school. Once at home, children should have a |
| experiencing consequences, their children may | | | | snack consisting of an edible and a beverage |
| never learn right from wrong. Instead, they | | | | before completing homework. The snack time |
| will always expect their parents to pick up | | | | should be limited from 15 minutes to a half |
| the pieces when they make a mistake. | | | | an hour. It is important for children to |
| | | | have a snack, especially a beverage, before |
| Think of it this way - when you do not know | | | | completing their homework because this helps |
| how to complete a specific task at your place | | | | re-energize their brain muscles. Since there |
| of employment, what do you do? Do you ask | | | | is some daylight after school, this presents |
| your significant other or your employer how | | | | as an incentive for children. The quicker |
| to complete the task? Obviously, you would | | | | your child successfully completes his or her |
| get your instruction from your employer. | | | | homework, the quicker he or she can engage in |
| Therefore, your child needs to learn from his | | | | outside privileges. In addition, there would |
| or her school teacher. I am not suggesting | | | | be plenty of time for children to complete |
| that you shouldn't help your child every once | | | | their homework before bedtime. Children who |
| in awhile. However, if assisting your child | | | | complete homework after dinner have less time |
| with homework becomes routine, there is a | | | | to complete homework. |
| problem. | | | | |
| | | | It is very important for you to tell your |
| An easy indicator as to whether your child | | | | child when he or she needs to begin |
| truly requires assistance with homework is to | | | | completing homework rather than telling him |
| ask his or her school teacher how much | | | | or her the time that homework should be |
| assistance your child requires with school | | | | completed. For instance, if you tell your |
| work. If your child's school teacher says | | | | child that homework must be completed by |
| that your child works independently and | | | | 6:00pm, your child might feel like a failure |
| requires minimal assistance, then there is a | | | | if his or her homework extends beyond the |
| strong possibility that your child is | | | | designated time. In addition, your child |
| manipulating by making you believe that he or | | | | might rush to complete his or her homework |
| she requires significant assistance. | | | | making many homework errors. |
| | | | |
| If your child's school teacher reports that | | | | Children typically find it very difficult |
| your child frequently day dreams, fails to | | | | completing homework after dinner primarily |
| pay attention, and requires significant | | | | because of fatigue. Fatigue usually follows |
| assistance when completing school work, you | | | | a heavy meal. Parents often extend their |
| should probably consult with your child's | | | | children's daily bedtime in order for them to |
| physician to rule out medical and/or | | | | complete their homework. Parents should |
| psychological factors that might be | | | | never extend their children's bedtime because |
| contributing to these behaviors. | | | | children need their sleep and rest in order |
| | | | to grow and to function properly the next |
| 2nd Unhealthy Belief: "My child will only | | | | day. |
| complete his or her homework in my presence." | | | | |
| | | | 7th Unhealthy Belief: "My child refuses or |
| This is a common misconception that parents | | | | forgets to bring homework home and there is |
| share. The problem with having your child | | | | nothing that I can do to change his or her |
| complete homework in your presence is that | | | | behavior." |
| there are usually too many distractions or | | | | |
| stimulation making it difficult for him or | | | | First of all, you need to develop a rule at |
| her to focus and concentrate on homework. | | | | home that states that homework must be |
| Asking for your assist is also too | | | | brought home and completed daily. In |
| convenient. Dinner preparation, people | | | | addition, this rule must have its own unique |
| walking through the room, conversations, and | | | | consequence in the event that your child |
| telephone calls are all common distractions | | | | fails to bring homework home. Which ever |
| to a child who is attempting to complete | | | | consequence you choose to enforce, it is |
| homework. This is especially | | | | important that its duration lasts for one |
| counterproductive for a child who has been | | | | day, from the time your child arrives home |
| diagnosed with ADHD (Attention Deficit | | | | from school till the time he or she goes to |
| Hyperactivity Disorder). | | | | bed. It is equally important that the |
| | | | duration of the consequence last no more than |
| The best place for a child to complete | | | | one day per occurrence. If you consequent |
| homework is in his or her bedroom or some | | | | your child for more than one day per |
| other secluded room of the home. Completing | | | | occurrence, your child will develop learned |
| homework in a secluded room would limit | | | | helplessness and will not be motivated to |
| distractions/stimulation and make it less | | | | bring home or complete homework for the |
| convenient to ask you for assistance. | | | | duration of the consequence making the |
| | | | consequence ineffective. |
| 3rd Unhealthy Belief: "Toys and games in my | | | | |
| child's bedroom prevent him or her from | | | | In order for you to learn whether or not |
| completing homework." | | | | your child has homework each day, you should |
| | | | require him or her to bring a note pad to and |
| Think in terms of your child completing | | | | from school detailing daily homework |
| homework in his or her bedroom as a form of | | | | assignments. Each day, your child should be |
| grounding. Your child is not really | | | | responsible for logging homework assignments |
| grounded. However, your child should not be | | | | as well as having the school teacher verify |
| allowed to exit his or her bedroom, for the | | | | and sign the note pad. You should discuss |
| exception of bathroom breaks, until the | | | | the logistics of this technique with your |
| homework is completed and checked by you. | | | | child's school teacher prior to its |
| Since your child will receive limited | | | | implementation. |
| attention from you, completing homework in | | | | |
| the bedroom will only act as an incentive for | | | | If your child claims that he or she forgets |
| your child to complete homework timely. This | | | | to bring home homework and/or the note pad, |
| technique will also help your child learn to | | | | your child needs to be consequented at home. |
| focus, become more organized and structured, | | | | Consequenting your child will encourage him |
| and become accountable for his or her | | | | or her to remember to bring homework and/or |
| actions. | | | | the note pad home the next time. Please keep |
| | | | in mind that consequences always follow |
| If by chance your child fails to complete | | | | forgetfulness. Therefore, we should never |
| his or her homework by their bedtime, your | | | | fail to give children consequences when they |
| child should attend school the following day | | | | forget specific tasks. If forgetfulness is a |
| with his or her homework uncompleted. As | | | | routine problem for your child that extends |
| mentioned earlier, your child will experience | | | | beyond homework, you should consider having |
| consequences at school for his or her failure | | | | him or her evaluated by a physician to rule |
| to complete homework. | | | | out medical or psychological issues that |
| | | | might be contributing to forgetfulness. |
| 4th Unhealthy Belief: "My child loves being | | | | Sometimes, depression and stress contribute |
| in his or her bedroom and will never submit | | | | to forgetfulness. However, if your child |
| to completing homework in there." | | | | routinely remembers other things except for |
| | | | his or her homework, your child might be |
| Even though plenty of parents tried to | | | | attempting to manipulate you. |
| convince me that their children would rather | | | | |
| spend days and nights in their bedroom rather | | | | It is my hope that the tips and techniques |
| than playing outside or in the living room, | | | | discussed in this article reduce the homework |
| this is manipulation at its best. The child | | | | blues at your home. |